The Daily Routine!

I'm reminded on a daily basis how much taking care of Logan is like following the list from the film 'Night At The Museum' starring Ben Stiller.

1. Wake up to the sound of "DA!"

2. Depending on the time, move Logan to the big bed, hope that he falls asleep on Mommy's pillow, try to catch a few more ZZZZZZ's.

3. If Logan is awake, he'll probably need to be changed. If the diaper isn't too bad, wait on it as he'll need to be changed soon & why waste another diaper?

4. Have the plastic bag ready for when he does need to be changed, as it may be toxic.

5. Be sure to clean Mr. Pee-pee. This makes Logan laugh. Not sure if he's just ticklish or he's laughing at me.

6. Give Logan his vitamins AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. The fluoride in the vitamins will bond with calcium, so don't give him milk, cheese, yougurt or any other dairy product for at least an hour afterward. The same time frame applies if he has any of the aforementioned things before the vitamins.

7.Logan may or may not want to eat at this point. Often times "PLAY!" is the first order of business on his personal agenda. If so, prepare breakfast while he busies himself with his toys.

NOTE: Logan doesn't sleep, he recharges. Where as most adults need a caffeinated beverage or three to come to a functional state, Logan does not.

Additional Note: UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IS LOGAN TO HAVE ANY CAFFEINE. PERIOD.

8. Now that Logan is fed, the following tasks should be done in order:

* Check again to see if Logan needs to be changed. Refer to steps 4 & 5.
* Have Logan assist in picking out his clothes for the day if Ma hasn't already done so.
* Logan can help in removing his jammies. He has discovered that he can use his thumbs for this task. Other animals are jealous, mostly because they don't get to wear jammies. Oh, and because they don't have thumbs too.
* Once the jammies are removed, it's time to "lotion the baby." This is not a euphemism. Logan gets skin lotion twice daily. He likes to get Da lotioned too. Hard not to get some lotion on one's self as this often turns into a Wrestlemania event. It would be cool if it were two lotioned babes, not so cool when it's you & Logan.

* At this point, Logan can help in getting himself dressed. PLEASE NOTE, make sure to consume sufficient caffeine so as not to get the lotion & dressing steps backwards. Just saying.

9. OK, time to brush Logan's teeth! He likes to help with this task as well, which involves him moving his brush in his mouth, constantly pointing out that his brush is "YELL O!" and chomping on it. Apparently, he likes the taste of toothpaste. Take over at this point or you will be in the "baff oom" for a long time.

10. Don't forget to floss his two front, top teeth. Yes, Logan gets flossed.

11. Somewhere amongst all this, Logan has vision, speech, and direct instruction therapy sessions. He has a total of 4 sessions spread out over Monday, Wednesday, & Thursday. Please make sure that at the very least, he's not odoriferous. The therapists are under specific instructions, that if he should become, shall we say, "less than socially acceptable to those of us without sever sinus conditions," to alert you IMMEDIATELY. This just makes his little butt easier to clean as opposed to him playing & sitting for any length of time. Quickest caught, easiest cleaned.

This usually comprises the morning routine. Try to include the dusting, vacuuming, laundry, and general tidying up in this routine. Involve Logan whenever possible. This is not to say that we are training him as a domestic, but more to introduce as much language to him as possible.

Congratulations! If you've made it this far, it's probably time for lunch! Please don't forget to feed yourself as well as Logan. Taking care of him becomes rather challenging should you pass out from hunger or low blood sugar. I might also note that your safety cannot be accounted for, should you let him run amok while you are examining the inside of your eyelids.

That concludes the morning portion of the list. Nap time will be covered in the next installment.

Incidentally, regardless of the fact that a parallel has been drawn between this routine and 'Night At The Museum' (Legal note: For parody purposes only!) any parallel drawn between Logan & Dexter the mischievous monkey is completely at the discretion of the reader and we can by no means be held responsible.

Logan is Learning SOO Much, So FAST!

I am very proud of our son! Everyday brings new words that he's beginning to learn on his own. This of course means that I have to be VERY CAREFUL as too what I say. I remember a line from one of Mr. Bill Cosby's comedy routines where he wondered if his children didn't think him a moron due to the fact that he couldn't complete a sentence. For example, "Son of a _____!" or "Mother____!" or "You little____!"



My favorite utterances have begun to resemble the under the breath mutterings of one Mr. Yosemite Sam.



The reason I mention these two things in conjunction is due to one of the things that Logan has learned of which he is very proud; he knows the difference between "off" & "on" with the lights and is able to flip the light switch and verbalize the status of the light. Of course, the only light he can reach in the condo is the one in the "baff room," another word that he is getting better with.



Wait for it......wait for it.......



So when does Logan like MOST to demonstrate his light-switching prowess and announce the status of the bulb? When I am, shall we say, indisposed in the "baff room" and unable to stop him.



As I sit in the dark, all I can say between cartoonesque mutterings is "That's my son."